The Gift of Presence this Holiday Season

The holidays arrive wrapped in sparkle and expectation, yet for many women I support, this season brings a quiet pressure. The pressure to make everything beautiful, to keep everyone happy, to hold the emotional center of the family. And in the rush to create a magical holiday, many forget the one thing that makes the season truly bright, feeling connected.

The truth is, connection does not happen by accident. It is created through intention. Through presence. Through the small, quiet choices that tell the people we love, “You matter to me.”

One of the most powerful practices I teach in the RISE Framework is the art of reconnecting to your inner compass. During stressful seasons, this compass keeps you grounded in what truly matters instead of getting swept into overwhelm, conflict, or old patterns.

So, before the season gets busy, pause and ask yourself:

“What do I want others to remember most about us this season?”

This one question turns the holidays from a performance into a shared experience. It shifts your energy away from perfection and back toward connection.

Here are a few simple ways to create a more peaceful and connected holiday, rooted in relationship science:

1. Regulate Before You Participate

Your presence is your superpower. When you walk into a room regulated, grounded, and steady, you change the emotional climate for everyone around you. Even two slow breaths can reset your nervous system before difficult family moments.

2. Choose Connection Over Correction

Families come with quirks, histories, and triggers. You do not have to fix anything. Offer warmth instead of critique. Curiosity instead of defensiveness. Gottman’s research shows that small bids for connection, a smile, a touch, a moment of eye contact, matter more than any big gesture.

3. Celebrate the Micro-Moments

Holidays are built from the littlest things. A shared laugh. A quiet morning coffee. A walk after dinner. These tiny interactions create more intimacy than the most elaborate plans.

4. Protect Your Energy, Not the Illusion

Let go of the pressure to create a perfect holiday. What people remember is how they felt around you, not whether the table runner matched the napkins.

When you stay connected to your compass, the holidays become lighter, calmer, and more joyful, because your presence becomes the greatest gift in the room.

May this season bring you peace, warmth, and moments that remind you that connection is still possible, one breath, one choice, one conversation at a time.